that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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