afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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