Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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