dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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