you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize