So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
