I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
