no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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