I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
