I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
