lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
