Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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