If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you will always have a special place in my vag
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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