Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
