The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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