he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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