I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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