When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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