She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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