Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
