I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
