She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
