Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
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i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
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One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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