I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
is wine microwaveable?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
