I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
third nipple confirmed
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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