ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
