i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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