people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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