how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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