All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
