I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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