You really coming over, don't trick.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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