He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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