oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
