Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
