I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Redeem this text for a blowjob
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
