seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
