Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF