Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.