i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist