you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.