my mouth tastes like poor choices
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.