No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed