Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
