I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
