I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
