Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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