Swine flu is the new snow day.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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