Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
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I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
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I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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