we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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