Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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