we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
im holly from the hills drunk
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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