ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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