i just google imaged poop.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
