so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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