I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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