if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
