The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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