the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
