You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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