Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
