I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just saw a hot homeless man
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
