Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
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He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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