And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
