You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
