Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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