what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
