Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm going to jail i love you
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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