Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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